Just kidding – my divorce bankrupt me completely and utterly. I have it all to my ex and our daughter. Started over all together.

One tip I would add is to develop financial trust with your soon-to-be spouse. While you can and should do a lot of the planning together, you have to trust that your spouse will make sound decisions.

Being the more financially minded partner, I had trouble trusting my spouse and her spending decisions. This led to a multitude of confrontations and the beginning stages of bitterness. It wasn’t until I learned to trust her decisions that we broke the pattern and came to financial agreement.

Craig

Errors or not, it’s a great post. I especially like Number Three. I think your readers will enjoy the relationship advice section at http://www.financialtales.com , specifically, “A Tale of Teamwork.”

I also recommend reading “Rich Dad Poor Dad.”

Yup, it was a lot and still is an outrageous amount for me too! But…here’s the kicker, we can go back to the store at any time (she no longer works there) and trade up using the original RETAIL value of the ring! This is especially great right now because the ring is platinum (if you think your RRSP’s have plummeted, check out the prices of platinum!).

Not only do we have $3K in “extra” value to use, but the retail price of the trade-up ring gone down in value. A small cure for my large sticker shock! Gaining ‘more for less’, in this situation, wouldn’t have been possible if we had spent the money on a consumable good (i.e. vacation). We both win in this situation — she gets a bigger ring, I get more for my money!

It’s kind of crazy how many of these types of arbitrage situations are out there in all kinds of industries. You just have to do research (or be an insider).

Seriously, We have a joint account since we are 19 (we are 27-28 now). I thought it was easier back then to manage our finance as a team instead of separately and we still do it today.

I agree with Four Pillars, the cost of the ring doesn’t matter (and you can go far with a 4,5K trip :-D)

However, once kids are in the picture and we need to buy a home, things will be difficult. Housing doesn’t come cheap out west and when you want to maximize your RSP/TFSA contributions every year, $350k starter homes are a troubling future.

If it’s any consolation you can raise a kid in 2-bedroom apartment for several years. They also have 3-bedroom apartments and lots of families the world over raise kids out of apartment-style complexes (rather than homes).

Of course, if you’re socking away 20%+ of your income (RRSP + TFSA), then I don’t know that you really need to worry about owning your home, especially in a market with 350k starters

Think of it this way – for $5k (or whatever) you can buy a nice ring and the two of you can sit around and look at it. Or, you can spend $500 (or less) on a token ring and then $4500 on a really nice trip for 2 somewhere….which is more romantic?

mind you, i did spend a lot of money on the engagement itself (a surprise trip to paris) and have no guilt about doing so.
how you propose is far more important than what you propose with. i’ve had to retell the engagement story hundreds of times, even on TV.

i used bluenile.ca and was impressed with their prices and speed.

But if jewelry is THAT important to your fiance, go nuts. I probably wouldn’t have married a girl that wanted to waste (opinion only) several thousands of dollars on a ring.

Living below your means has come easy for us. We’re spending less than 10% of our income renting an apartment right now and share a vehicle.

However, once kids are in the picture and we need to buy a home, things will be difficult. Housing doesn’t come cheap out west and when you want to maximize your RSP/TFSA contributions every year, $350k starter homes are a troubling future.

Wow is that tough for my wife and I (married Sept 2005) to do. Not because we’re extravagent, eat out all the time, or live in a huge house. We do have a small but pricey house (I think housing eats up 28% of our gross income, higher than some here but lower than the 33% max recommended and its in our dream neighbourhood) in Toronto but that’s not what’s hurting us: our 15 month baby boy is. From paying out of savings (not line of credit) to cover my wife’s maternity leave since her EI was pathetic to paying 20% of our total monthly income now to daycare to buying clothes (used) that fit for a week, it’s really hard to live below your means while still contributing to rrsp and resp (in that order), you know? Anyone else with kids feeling the pinch like we are?

Jeff, my best advice is to not get carried away. Three months’ salary seems pretty excessive to me, even though that’s what the dealers will push. When you’re caught up in the excitement of getting engaged, it’s very easy to place a greater emphasis on the ring that you really ought to. While the initial “wow” factor of a big diamond is appealing, in a short time it will mean nothing. If your fiancee is the type that needs a big diamond to feel loved or to impress her friends, maybe you need a different woman, not a different diamond. :) Cannon_fodder’s advice is great- get educated and check out independent suppliers of loose diamonds for some savings. However, make sure you get an independent GIA appraisal to ensure that you’re actually getting what you paid for.

That depends. It was a DeBoer’s marketing campaign that came up with the 3 months salary metric. Hardly a conflict of interest there, huh?

I ended up buying a good quality, loose diamond and had the ring custom made. I think that, more than the cost or the size, meant the most to my wife.

There are a lot of poor quality diamonds out there. Go to pricescope.com and get yourself educated. You can even buy the diamonds there, too (and there was a Canadian company when I purchased years ago).

I know, the price shouldn’t matter etc etc.
But in the end, I’m still trying to figure out a budget.