[...] I believe that the key to avoid money related issues is through open communication about money.  Even with our most trusted partners, some of us still treat money as a taboo subject. [...]

[...] Ask the Readers: Talking about Money [...]

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[...] The Financial Blogger has hosted the 140th Carnival of Personal Finance.  This issue was a bit more creative than usual as he used the "Prison Break" theme.  MDJ submitted a "best prisoners" (and controversial) article "Ask the Readers: Talking about Money". [...]

In fact, I’m going to go one step further and replace Perhaps with most definitely!

Money is very taboo in North American culture. But I think the root cause is that money is the manifestation of a person’s life decisions. Money is just a physical representation of time. When we trade dollar bills or gold bars or just numbers in a ledger, we are fundamentally trading time.

Now what you do (or don’t do) with your money speaks fundamentally about who you are. And speaking candidly about these decisions is very scary to most people.

I think there are two reasons for this:
1. People are not commonly “active” decision makers. Even the “active” ones have their moments of weakness.
2. Certain people like to make up for this lack by providing judgments and opinions on other people’s decision.

The tale of your chequebook is very closely tied to the tale of your life. Sharing this information with people is tantamount to sharing intimate pieces of your life’s story. People fear (very deeply) the judgments of others with respect to this information.

Of course, this is just my opinion, YMMV.

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Wow! I can really relate to this. Not only am I on my own, but I am the bad guy in our family. The unstated message is “Everyone else is living beyond their means and having a great time. Why are you so worried about our financial future?”

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I plan to include your article in my weekly carnival review this Friday.

Best Wishes,
D4L

[...] Ask the Readers: Talking About Money [...]

[...] Ask the Readers: Talking about Money? By Million Dollar [...]

(ps – can’t give any definitive answer as to why we don’t, but I can say this much for sure: if any of us can provide a safe, judgment-free place, and learn (Really, Really learn) not to use jargon, people are soooo glad to have the opportunity to talk about their financial situations)

“. . . the love of money is the root of all evil . . .”

It’s not the money itself, it’s putting the money’s priority in front of more important things (in this example, faith . . . but since it’s the bible you can twist it any which way you want) that is the problem described.

The question: is there a negative savings rate or are people in a negative cashflow situation? The two items, in my opinion, are not the same. Any given person can be true or false for either condition, independent of the other.

Here’s a link: http://money.canoe.ca/Columnists/Murray/2006/01/09/pf-1385731.html

The important thing is to avoid the holier than thou attitude. Even if you only help one person in every 10 people you discuss finances with, you may pique their interest enough to change the way they perceive money in general (like the coffee shop guy you wish you’d met sooner).

I find I don’t like to talk to people about money because they just don’t get where I’m coming from… I’ve told my parents and friends that I’m actually happier without stuff, and they don’t get it.. I’m happier with my money in my bank account than eating out or drinking or other frivolous spending.

When I was a bachelor, my girlfriend’s (at the time, now my wife) mother used to always ask why I slept on the floor.. I said,”Im comfortable and a bed costs alot” I figured if I could be happy and comfortable with the floor, then I’ll always be happy and comfortable with my bedding :) .. Similarly I don’t want to get to the point where I “need” any type of property, some guys “need” a comfortable bed, or a big TV for the game etc..

So yeah, when I talk to people they don’t really understand my Point of View and often feel threatened or insulted by an attempt to totally disregard material pleasures… alot of people thing I’m boring too :D

-MikeG

Also, I think the “dissavings” concept you alluded to in post 20 is a media creation. There is one measure that the US government produces which the media report every year to show that people are not saving money. Problem is that one of the inputs into the equation is purchases on instalment plans. The gross amount of the purchase is recorded in the current year, not as it is paid off. For example, say you buy a car for $30,000 and pay it off over 5 years. The gov’t reports it as -$30,000 in year one and $0 effect in years 2-5. In reality, it is -$6,000 each year.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be saving more, but I think we need to treat media reports with a grain of salt.

In the past the advise I did receive from friends was to invest money in the sock market in the late 90’s. That did not go so well. My banker advised me to get an RRSP loan and put the money in a 4% term deposit. Not so good plus I spent the refund. ING Direct advised me to “save my money” at 3.25% but did not mention anything about reducing my credit line @ 9.25% or my credit cards @ 18%. My financial adviser never mentioned anything other than RRSP’s and RESP’s. Nothing to help me save taxes, reduce interest costs or a decent investment strategy.

One afternoon in a coffee shop, I had a conversation with a person that wanted to share his knowledge and was not selling me anything. It opened my eyes to new possibilities and I started reading and learning about personal finance. Now my finances are in order. Although I sometimes wish I had that conversation 10 years ago I might have not been to receptive to the idea.

Now at work or with friends if the subject of money comes up and I tell them how I eliminated all “bad” interest and that I’ve implemented the Smith Manoeuvre they think I’m selling a product. When I talk about how I’ve setup a stock portfolio they say “isn’t that too risky?”.

I will continue to talk about strategies and not necessarily dollar amounts with friends and co-workers. I stress how they should be informed and sometimes get a second opinion.